Ways to Keep a Divorce Friendly and Amicable

LifeStyle

Divorce is never a topic that people look at fondly. Any way you cut it, divorce is a division. It is a division of a family that severs relationships between two people who once swore to stay “until death do us part.” That being said, it is sometimes necessary in order for both parties to move on with their lives and to find some sort of stability again.

When children are involved, it can include custody issues including who keeps the kids most of the time, which spouse has visitation rights, for how long, and how often. All of these issues can be taxing on the family unit, including both spouses and children.

But there may be a way to avoid some of the anger, hurt, and difficulties. Below are a few tips on how to handle a divorce without having to feel as though you are going to war.

  1. Discuss what you hope to get out of the divorce honestly with your soon-to-be-separated spouse before the proceedings begin. If you can trust your partner to be straightforward and you both agree, this could be a strategy to try. Both parties should agree beforehand that they don’t plan on springing any surprises the day of the divorce proceeding. If they do, it defeats the purpose. The idea is to work together to formulate a plan to settle things in such a way that emotions are not overly involved. That will work for both parties. 
  2. Use a mediator. Mediators are not attorneys, but they often have a background in psychological counseling or negotiation. They serve as a middle man to find solutions that are beneficial to both parties. This can be done in the place of a court hearing and, if an agreement is met, it can also lay the groundwork for signed agreements in the divorce settlement.
  3. Collaborative Divorce– Perhaps the best solution for an amicable divorce is to get what is called a “collaborative divorce.” Sometimes these will use a mediator, sometimes just a facilitator of some sort. Like with a mediator, both sides obtain a lawyer and come to the meeting to hash out the agreement. The facilitator in a collaborative divorce serves as a middle man to work out the details. There is give and take on both sides and negotiations serve as a way to create a settlement agreement that both sides can agree to. This saves court costs, time, and the opportunity for dissension. 

The Last Loving Act

While divorce always carries negative connotations, this does not mean that divorce always has to be war. In fact, if handled correctly with the help of a skilled collaborator, it can serve as the last loving act you present to your spouse by the compromises you make (and that they make) to find an agreement both sides can agree to.

After all, you spent 10, 20, or more years with your spouse in most cases. Why end in a negative way if you do not have to. This is best for the children, as well as the many others whose lives will be touched by this final act.

Where to Find Collaborative Divorce Attorneys

If you are looking for a Boulder collaborative divorce attorney, look no further than the Conscious Family Law Firm. They handle all kinds of divorces, no matter how “messy” and they can help you come to a solution for both sides so you can get on with your lives. There are books available on collaborative divorces to take a look at to learn more.

After all, you got married together once in peace. Why does divorce have to mean war?

Written by Russel Zaman

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